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Socoder -> Off Topic -> Fire!!

Thu, 28 Feb 2013, 08:33
waroffice
nice day for a fire drill
Thu, 28 Feb 2013, 08:33
waroffice
Ah it wasn't a drill

'Hi All

The fire alarm was possibly caused by a projector in the meeting room on the 1st floor, this is going to be checked out by I.S in order to make sure it is safe. I hope you all enjoyed the sunshine, apologies for the disruption but we found the source as quickly as possible, better safe than sorry.

Many thanks'
Thu, 28 Feb 2013, 08:47
Jayenkai
Oooh, a fire!!
Thu, 28 Feb 2013, 08:50
Dabz
I was working at a university in Newcastle, one day i decided to go into one of the buildings for a poo... While i was sitting there, mid-crimp, the sodding fire alarm went off!

I decided it was probably nowt since there was plumbers there and it was probably either them, or a drill... So, instead of straining my arse inside out to get the job done, i just let nature run its course.

Upon finishing i wandered outside and there was absolutely loads of people everywhere, and this woman came over shouting and screaming at me about not getting out of the building. I just said i sorry and couldn't leave because i was busy, she went mental... Then she said "What was so important that you put yourself, and other people in danger, tell me, what was important?", and with about 40 people looking on, i said "I was in the middle of having a shit, so excuse me if i don't want to run out into the middle of the campas with my kecks down and a shitty arse that would make a sheep blush", thus, combination of that, and not taking notice of the fire alarm, i was told to leave the university and wasn't allowed back on!

Never mind... It was still and enjoyable poo though!

Dabz

-=-=-
Intel Core i5 6400 2.7GHz, NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1070 (8GB), 8Gig DDR4 RAM, 256GB SSD, 1TB HDD, Windows 10 64bit
Thu, 28 Feb 2013, 09:03
waroffice
thats the most exciting thing to happen today!

/edit Didn't realise you posted Dabz, that's hilarious!
Thu, 28 Feb 2013, 09:21
Jayenkai
LMAO
Thu, 28 Feb 2013, 10:27
Dabz
Aye... That was a weird job anyway... I originally went there to do some patching (That was actually the place where I was when I heard about the Twin Towers on 9-11), then, some "flag layers" started, a gang of three lads turned up, and get this... All three of them said they didnt know how to use a Stilhsaw!

That's like me turning up to plaster a bedroom, then going "Oh, by the way, I havent the foggiest on how to use a trowel"!

The gaffer at the time was also the contracts manager (It was a big job see), so, he came over and said "Dab, your needed outside"... I asked why, then he told me that these three "flag layers" didnt know how to use a stilhsaw, I told him he was jesting me, but, sure enough, they were adamant they couldn't do the cuts unless someone would cut them... Basically, back heeling a shite job!

Well, I went out, told the useless gits that if they wanted me to cut something, the flag better be marked right, because I'm only doing a cut once, and if it didnt fit, they'd have to chew the f***er with their teeth.

So, 2 days on the arse end of a stilhsaw, cutting paving, I was as sick as a perverbile t**t... It was a Friday, dinner time came, Paul the gaffer came over to tell me to stop sawing as the Architect was coming, I was covered head to toe in dust, not in the best of moods as you can imagine, I just looked at him, chucked the stilhsaw on the floor, took me mask off and went "Really, champion, cos he can finish cutting these f***ers then"!

Walked straight past him, and headed off into Newcastle city centre for a beer!

A lad, scott, a joiner chased after me and asked what was I doing for my dinner, I told him I was going for a beer, and he said he'd join me... The plan was was to have a couple, then go back... Never happened... It went from going back at 2pm, to going back at 4pm to jump on the van home, to an all out drinking session.

We were in a place in Newcastle called the Haymarket [Edit: No, it was the Bigg Market), it's whicked with bars, and, to be fair, full of arse holes mostly, but, we were there, having a skinful, it was about 5 o'clock and we tried to get into Idols for a drink, the bouncers took one look at us [Mostly me], and said we couldnt go in because we were in work clothes.

Bit distraught about that, I wasnt keen on ending our little drinking session early, so, I had an idea... I said to Scott "Come with me", walked up towards Eldon Square, spied the British Heart Foundation charity shop... Waltzed straight in and said to the woman behind the counter "Can you kit me out for a fiver"... And guess what, a little more then a fiver later and I was dressed to the nines!

I had as follows:-

1) A pair of grey trousers, two-toned with use, dark grey below the knees which I presume was the proper colour, mottled light grey above the knees on the front, arse area was same colour too... Probably the person that owned them had died in them.

2) A pair of blue Kickers things, probably worn by Robin Hood when he was off to a fancy do somewhere

3) A blue shirt with massive collars and a picture of... Wait for it... Chitty Chitty Bang Bang on the back... Glorious!!!

The nice lady also let us have a quick wash in the staff toilets too, which was good of her!

Scott got dolled up too, he spent a bit more then me, so, didnt look so much of a prick, we came out, our work clothes and boots ended up in the bin, we headed back down towards Idols and the bouncers couldnt believe it, and waved us straight in!

And what an absolute belting night we had... People thought we were dressed up for a reason, like it was one of our birthdays or something... When we explained what we done they, they were over the moon too!

That will indeed, go down in the history of Newton Moor (The company that I was working for), Paul was apparently in the huff we never came back, but, he was fine on Monday, when he was in his strop, one of the "flag layers" complained that they needed flags cutting... He told us in the van on the way there he told these lads if they werent gonna use the saw, they may as well just f*** off.

They used the saw for the rest of the afternoon, and forever after that, I got back to patching, and well... All was well that ended well!

Good times!

Dabz

-=-=-
Intel Core i5 6400 2.7GHz, NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1070 (8GB), 8Gig DDR4 RAM, 256GB SSD, 1TB HDD, Windows 10 64bit
Thu, 28 Feb 2013, 14:18
rockford
LOL. Excellent stuffage!